"I actually wrote the below post for few weeks and Ive been thinking whether to post this up or not.. but still I did it today.. I hope this will be the very last post about K"
Few days ago, K SMS-ed me "Dinner tonight? Payback dinner.. Lolz" thus we decided to meet up 2 days later which is earlier today for dinner. Ofcos it's not just him and me lah..
GL, JY and MD were with us.. Seriously I'm pretty taken aback that he remember that he still owe me a meal. Ofcos I don deny the fact that occasionally when we had a chance to talk, I'll pester him that "eh u still owe me a meal" but it's really 除此预料 that he really does that! At first, I did pondered whether should I go as I'm afraid but thinking that since he made e first move in wanting to payback the dinner to me, that was more than enough.
I told bee abt it and she said its a scandalous date.. Wahaha.. But no lah, it's not, 我和他是不可能的。
I'm really happy to see him again, it's a kind of feelings I cant describe. 也许是还没有完全的放下他但我真的有很努力的在做，在学习。而且有人告诉我过 "never look back in the past, look forward and learn how to make ur life a better one... Things which aren't meant to be will never be"..
Somehow this phrase wake me up, 是我放弃了这一切所以我不可能会回到过去我也不应该活在过去。有人告诉我：假如你心里还有别人你也不能全心全意的去爱另一个人。我知道这样对我的男朋友很不公平但有些事不是说要忘就能忘，像电脑要测地清除就能清除了。我真的有去想，他到底有什么好,都已经分了四年两个月为何他还会在我心里。For this, I was also amazed by myself.. Haa! 也许是他的体贴，他的笑容，他那些无私的爱，他的一切一切吧, 所以才那么难忘记吧。每次和别人谈到他，我总是会觉得开心 but thereafter I'll feel like shit. 有时有些人会问我，你还没有放弃他吗？我的答复会是，不是每件事都能这么容易的。毕竟他真的给了我很多美好的回忆。我也不否认那时的我，是很任性，蛮不讲理，野蛮。而虽然我这么不好，他从没放弃过我，一直陪在我的身旁。我知道要彻底忘掉一个人最好的办法是，不和他有任何联络。我有想过我可以学别人一样，把前难友从fb delete away，少点和我们的common friends 接触可是我真的做不到。好笑right? 有时也是我自己皮痒啦，有空的时候会拿出他送我的卡片看，不知不觉也会掉下眼泪。明知道是不可能的还去想很stupid right? 在他的卡里，他说我曾经爱说：开心就好了咯 but then 我很久已经没有说了我也不知道我自己的感觉。他总是说他早就放弃了，but somehow in my heart 我觉得他没有，也许是我想太多了吧。也许我是在蹁自己。有空的时候我也会想想看我和他还有没有可能。如果那时真的有机会一起，我想他也许会是我的终身半吕吧哈哈，因为懂得珍惜，或者会怕再在一次的是失去 or maybe as per above title。我会后悔，有时我也会想如果那时他早点对我坦白，我也耐心的等他的回答回来，现在会是怎样。为什么要在他走之前的一星期才叫我等他！为何有话不早说，要是他早说的话，我不会去认识新的朋友。我真的很讨厌他！我真的也很想他。 I know there are 2 side of stories in life.. 如果不是这样，我也不会认识到我的男友而过着不错的生活。最好笑的是，我会想如果有一天我和男友要是散了，我会和他再在一起吗？当然我也自有了答案。也许就像他们所说的，我和他是欢喜冤家或者我们真差了缘分吧！无论如何我真得很高兴能再一次的和他一起吃饭，能见到他可是每当我看见他以后，虽然明知道我又会心痛了。有太多的话想说可是再也不能说！这种感觉真的好辛苦哦！！！ 但也只能放在心里，总之只要他过得好过得开心就够了。不得不放弃但放弃也许是一种开始吧?
I used to say "Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak; sometimes it means you are strong enough to let go" but it seems like I nv accomplish any of these 2. 好没有用！
Overall, It'd been a great catching up session cum dinner with them.. Somehow it have been ages since I laugh so heartily.
No comments:
Post a Comment